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I learned some really useful things this past weekend about belts.
08 . 06 . 14
Here are some things you should take into consideration about the often overlooked accessory, mens belts.
1. Like any accessory, some people say there should be no limit on how many you own. Some people are also hoarders that have a mummified cat and a September 1995 T.V. Guide on the kitchen table like its not a big deal (HINT: It is a big deal because who reads T.V. Guide anymore). So let’s say three or four. (Belts, not T.V. Guide’s. We’re passed that now.) There, three or four belts sounds manageable right? So which ones?
2. If you own a belt that has a logo printed or stitched or branded all over it, get rid of it. Fast. (Cough, Hermes) They multiply and have the power to create a wormhole that will suck you back to 2003. And no one wants to be in 2003 again. Remember when you had to pay per text message and only nights and weekends were free? Is that the life you want again? Good. Throw our logo belts away, no matter how expensive they were when you purchased them five years ago and please, stay here in the present.
3. Buckles. Buckles should be silver or brass. A natural brass- if it’s too shiny you’re going to look like you have a cello solo at a grade school recital later on that evening and not a date. Because if you did have a date, the person waiting for your outside the bar or restaurant is going to see that shiny buckle as you approach and twenty minutes later they’ll have a family emergency or a work thing they totally forgot about. And then you and your belt will have to eat the iced lemon cake dessert alone. So stick to silver or a subdued brass, Brass buckles should be reserved for outfits that are more casual. If you’re raising your hand right now hoping I’ll tell you what to do if your belt buckle is a pair of flaming dice well then, I don’t know how you found this website but hi!
4. A properly tailored suit should not require a belt to actually keep your trousers up off the floor or from around your knees. A good tip is to remember is that if your trousers have an extended waist tab, do not wear a belt. Leave your belt at home. It needs breathing room and time to possibly listen to Celine Dione in the shower alone with no one around to hear it or judge how off key it is. This is healthy. This is normal. Go beltless and be free in the confidence that you know so much more about waist-wear for men!